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Posts : 2467
Join date : 2010-10-09
Location : London, England

PostSubject: CXA REUNION SHOW - PART 4   Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:08 pm

The cameras cut back to the arena, and suddenly and without warning, an unrecognizable theme music begins playing over the sound system, which barely resembles the old WCW's nWo theme Rockhouse, but decidedly different, at the same time.

Reynard is confused “What in the blazes is this? Doesn’t anyone stick to a format anymore?”

Several figures then walk out onto the entrance way, wearing t-shirts playing off the old nWo logo, re-fashioned as "cWo".

As they get out to the stage, it becomes more apparent as to who some of these figures are, while some of them only seem familiar as being members of the old CWA.

“Well” says Maxine “I still don't know what's going on, but I do know that these are apparently the same guys who hacked the CXA website, about a month ago.

Tarsh is surprised “Is that right? I hadn't checked it, but what's this about hacking our site??”

“Long story, but they basically just replaced our logo with their own for an entire weekend, and disabled registration and commenting, and posted some warnings about an appearance, before we had the server host give control back to the original admins.”

“Oh. Sounds like it accomplished absolutely nothing, then.”

“Pretty much.”

First of the group is the morbidly obese man known as Fat Ass. His cWo shirt barely covering his gigantic gut, a pair of sweaty track pants with a green and brown camo print and sporting black, slicked back hair.

A fleck of recognition crosses Maxine’s face “I recognize him! Isn't that.. Leopold.. Schlesleheim? or something? I apologize if i've gotten that wrong, but I know he's from the old CWA!”

“Thanks for clearing that mystery up” comments Reynard “For a minute I honestly thought I was seeing a Volkswagen made of flesh rolling down the ring.

Over to his left side, walking just a bit behind him is the little weasel once known, before his days as a face, as the "little bastard" David Erin, with short blond hair, a pair of sunglasses and a leather jacket with jeans and a cWo shirt.

Maxine is on a roll “That appears to be David Erin. Pre-EZ Bake Oven David Erin. He looks almost like he does when he was an announcer for the old CWA. He was almost like well.. imagine what Michael Cole is today, back then. Except if Michael Cole was insane and made little coherent sense”

Over to Fat Ass's right is the old joke known as Asyluhm, with his light brown, Dolph-Ziggler-esque hair, and ultra tan body, wearing a small blue and yellow mask over his eyes, clownish yellow pants with green stripes and stars on them and a cWo shirt, occasionally doing a much slower version of his ridiculous, trademarked airplane spin, twirling around with his arms out by his sides.

Tarsh knows when to hand over “Ok. Maxine. You seem to be the expert on these guys. Who the hell is that clown guy?”

“Not really an expert, I just kind of remember seeing some old CWA matches from a VHS tape back in 97. I don't know if I recall that guy...”

Renard doesn’t seem bothered “Oh really, I don't think we're supposed to care.”

Tarsh disagrees “It's sort of our job to know these things.”

Maxine shrugs “Uh... I'm drawing a blank. Oh! Asyluhm, I think? He was a jobber who spun around like a doofus and that was it.”

Renard isn’t impressed “Hard to believe the old Central Wrestling Alliance went out of business, isn’t it?”

Back to Fat Ass's left behind David Erin, is Hard Fuckin' Core. The Hard Fuckin' Core in his joke gimmick from 1996, marching down the ring with his bald head, a can of root beer clenched in his fist, severely ripped up pants exposing his calves, a shredded cWo shirt, and completely barefoot (because he's too hardcore for shoes.)

“I definitely remember that bald guy, though”. Maxine chuckles “Hard.. uhm.. F'n Core. Still tooo hardcore for shoes, I see.”

And lastly, walking behind Asyluhm, is the extremely, freakishly tall Lockdown from the old CWA, looking as personality-less and generic as ever, looking like a combination of Steve Blackman and Kevin Nash, also sporting black pants and a black cWo shirt.

“Right” comments Tarsh sarcastically “Please extol your vast knowledge upon us, Miss Mars. Who is that tall bloke, then?”

“Lockdown. He's big. He's boring. You're not missing much.”

Renard sighs “Fascinating”

The team walks down to the ring, Fat Ass waddling down to the ring with Microphone in hand.

The crowd is in a bewildered state, most not knowing who these ridiculous looking losers are, while a very small section of astute fans familiar with CWA from 1996 cheering in very small doses, with confused silence from the rest of the crowd.

Fat Ass attempts to climb into the ring, but is noticeably struggling. It takes the combined might of all the other cWo members to even lift and roll him into the ring.

Maxine chuckles “There's one for Botchamania.”


“Never mind Robinson (snickers)”

At this the crowd is starting to chant "Who the hell are you.. clap clap clapclapclap... who the hell are you.... clap clap clapclapclap..."

Fat Ass finally manages to wobble himself upright, and with as much dignity as he can muster, waddles to the middle of the ring, flanked by the other members.

Fat Ass gets on the mic.

“Hey yo! It's Survey Time!!!”

Maxine grimaces “Oh no. (laughs) Dear god, tell me they are not going there.”

Fat Ass continues “Who here... stopped at Burger King and picked up 37 Buck Doubles, 14 Steakhouse Burgers with extra A1 sauce, 47 sides of onion rings, 12 Chocolate Shakes and 1 Apple Pie?”

The crowd merely boos in response.

Renard has seen enough “This is moronic. Can we get security out here?”

Tarsh quietens him down “C'mon Robinson, let 'em at least have their time.”

“I won't! And shouldn't encourage this nonse--”

Fat Ass continues “And WHO HERE... got 16 extra deep buckets of greasy chicken wings, 22 tubs'a mashed potatoes, 67 orders of clam chowder, 84 bags of Extra Crispy, 217 Home-Style Biscuits, 15 large diet coke's, 3 salads and a napkin?”

The crowd pauses, then boos again.

Fat Ass goes on “Survey SAYS!!!! One more... for the Colonel!!!”

Renard begs “Ok. Either end this, or shoot me.”

Fat Ass turns to his compatriot “Do it, Asyluhm!”

Asyluhn breaks out into a wild, spinning airplane dance and comes to a stop.

“Oh, all the ways this does my head in” moans Reynard.

Fat Ass passes the microphone over to David Erin, who steps forward.

“Now that we've gotten that out of the way... You may wonder who we are! And to be honest, sometimes I wonder that myself! Well, When I got out of bed this morning, I thought to myself "....If 7 Up was The Uncola.. then why is it there? So, Asyluhm!! Do that wonderful thing you do!”

David Erin points over at Asyluhm and again, he spins once more in that, stupid, stupid way.

Renard is beside himself “This is all about as entertaining as watching your wife cheating on you.”

“Speaking from experience, there?”

“No Jason! Don't be daft.”

David Erin then continues...

“And that's when I realized that to be the man.. you gotta beat the man! Then you gotta carve the man's skin off, and wear the man's skin like a coat! And then everyone will come up to you, and they'll be like ‘Hey! Oh man! Oh god! Oh Man Oh God Oh Man!! Where did you get that lovely coat?!?’ And then I'll be like ‘Well, baby... I didn't get it from Burlington Coat Factory!’ Woo!”

Renard runs a hand over his face, trying to erase this nightmare “Bloody hell..”

Hard Fuckin Core then snatches the Mic away from David and punches him square in the chest, causing David to stumble backwards with a hurt expression on his face.

“Shut the hell up!! What Erin is trying to fuckin' say is that we're fuckin' here because we fuckin' want every fuckin' person to fuckin' know that this is the fuckin' time, for us to fuckin' take over!!! We're the fuckin' cWo! And we deserve to be headlinin' the fuckin' show because we're the originals! And we're better than everyone out there! So if you don't like it, you can come out here, and you can do somethin' bout it!!

Fat Ass then takes the microphone away from HFC and calms him down a bit.

“Whoa whoa there, Mista Core. Before that, we got some business to 'tend to.”

David then takes the mic.

“Right. And that starts with some business by the table... C'mon Lockdown.”

Erin then hands the mic back to Fat Ass, while Erin and Lockdown get out of the ring and head up to the announce table.

Reynard stands up, as well as Tarsh, and Maxine, as we see Erin and Lockdown approach the table, and eye Reynard's 24/7 trophy he'd gotten from earlier.

Lockdown then forces his way into their midst, rips off Reynard's headset and grabs him by the shirt collar and yells in his face.

“That trophy is ours! Give it here!!”

He then shoves Renard down, back into his seat and grabs the Trophy, thus becoming the champion for all of 2 seconds, before handing it over to David Erin.

They begin to walk back towards the ring, but then Erin slowly turns around as if to say "Ah, and one other thing..."

Then Lockdown grabs Maxine by the tie and collar, and with a yelp, Lockdown easily picks her up forcibly and drags her out of the announce table, throws her headset off and drags her towards the ring, struggling and fighting.

Maxine is yelling “Let me go, you piece of garbage! help!!

Lockdown and Erin head back to the ring, dragging Maxine, who is attempting to land a good punch onto the large man, but can't get a good hit in with the commotion of being dragged around like a rag doll.

Lockdown then tosses her into the ring. Maxine attempts to get back to her feet and scramble of the ring, but is caught and restrained by HFC while Maxine is screaming insults at him and the group.

Fat Ass begins to speak on the mic again.

“So here's what's gonna happen! The CXA Managment is gonna get out here, because we've got a hostage, now! As well as David Erin here, having your 24/7 Trophy. We've got the following list of demands...”

Fat Ass then pulls out a wrinkled up piece of paper with gravy and coffee stains all over it from his track pants pocket and begins reading, as Maxine struggles, now being restrained by both HFC and Lockdown in the ring.

Fat Ass consults his list “First demand... I'm hungry. So I demand a whole cooked turkey. Not a turkey leg, not part of a turkey. The whole thing! mmmm Turkey. Second demand... The cWo, all of us, will be placed into the main event Trinity Of Iron match with Chio Reto and David Shand. And the third demand... An ice cream sundae for every member of the cWo! Except mine is to be 7 times as big as everyone elses! And no sprinkles or nuts on the sundae. God help you all if you put nuts on it. These are our demands, and if we don't get what we want, the lady's back gets broken, and then.. I'll sit on her!!

Maxine screams, horrified of the thought of Fat Ass sitting on her, let alone touching her.

The cWo waits in the ring for a few moments, for someone to agree to their demands.

Fat Ass: Nobody? Alright then, Asyluhm.. show them we mean business!!

Fat Ass and David Erin do the "outsiders" point at Asyluhm, who begins doing his airplane spin like a madman all over the ring, until he eventually falls over from sheer dizziness.

Fat Ass continues “You see? WE.. MEAN... BUSINESS... Get someone out here!!”

Just then, a song begins to play on the sound system, the old CWA Theme song "Jack The World" by GWAR, but the CXA management or security does not appear on the entrance.

Instead, the camera flies up to the back of the crowd to find a spotlight on none other than Michael "Trash" Williams from the old CWA, holding a sledgehammer in his hands as the crowd cheers! Trash with his rugged beard, and slight mullet covered by a camo print hunting cap, is sporting jeans with an old CWA T-Shirt, with a red and black checked flannel jacket over it.

And from the other side of the arena, "The American Ronin" Karma, complete with his braided hair, Chinese vest and large, brimmed black hat is shown with a spotlight, brandishing a pair of tonfa in his hands, striking a martial arts pose.

The two of them then make their way through the crowd, and charge the ring.

Trash Williams comes into the ring and clobbers Lockdown with the blunt edge of the sledgehamer and goes to work on him, freeing Maxine. Karma assists her out of the ring and to safety, but she shakes her head no, and indicates for him to wait a second for her.

Maxine then runs back up to David Erin, who is unaware of everything that is going on, She adopts a boxing stance and delivers two boxing jabs right to his eye, and a third right hook to the side of his face, as he falls backwards, still clutching his 24/7 trophy stolen from Reynard.

Satisfied that she's gotten him back, Maxine then runs back to Karma. She thanks him with a nod to the head and he assists her back to the announce table where Reynard and Tarsh are getting their headsets back on, and she joins them as well.

Maxine yells into the mic “Go Trash! Go Karma! Beat the hell out of those stupid jerkwads!!”

Trash begins pounding away, left and right on the cWo members, and clobbering HFC, and then Fat Ass with the sledgehammer.

Karma, with his pair of tonfa, then begins hammering on, his once former Tag Team partner from way back in the Eclipse days of the later CWA, showing no mercy on him.

The cWo, bruised and battered, and clearly losing the battle against the combined force of Trash Williams, and Karma Satori and their weapons, exits the ring as best as they can and begin to head up the ramp and away from the onslaught of the two.

The cWo, clearly defeated, continue looking towards the ring at Karma and Trash as they back up the ramp. David Erin is still clutching the 24/7 trophy, but they decide that they've had enough and limp away towards the back.

"Jack The World" by GWAR then begins playing from the sound system.

Maxine is delighted “When it comes to the original CWA, as far as i'm concerned, there are the two that deserve to be known! Thanks to Trash and Karma, the main event.. and myself.. is safe!”

Renard is less happy “Well that’s all well and good, but that snarky little bastard has my trophy!!

Trash holds his sledgehammer up high, in victory, next to Karma, who does a small kata routine in victory, soaking in the crowds cheers for a minute, before exiting the ring, walking up the ramp and out to the backstage, high-fiving and slapping hands with the crowd on the way up as the music ends.

Back to the announcers, and Maxine is getting herself back together. Tarsh looks her over

“Maxine, are you alright. That was a digusting display from those thugs”

Mars looks angry, but determined. “I’m fine. Those assholes got what they deserved! But thanks Jason”

Reynard looks affronted “I notice no-one asks me how I’m doing. I just got robbed of 25 grand!!!!”

“My heart bleeds” comments Maxine “Anyway, lets got on with the next match. And what a doozy it will be. The All American heroes of Homer and Reggie Cyde take on the Mouth of the South West, Joxide, and Orland “The Dragon” Zacconi.

“The card's only tag team contest!" shouts an excited Robinson Reynard.

"England's most arrogant versus America's most arrogant! This one will be a  true battle of the egos!" laughs Jason Tarsh.
"In a no-holds barred match, no less!" pipes up Maxine. "This should be  messy!"
The bell ring sounds across the O2 arena, and the ring announcer pipes up.  "Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is  a no-holds barred, tag team match!".
"Born in the USA" begins playing from the PA system of the grand O2 arena, and  it's not long before Homer Cyde pops out from behind the curtain, followed of  course, by his tag team partner for the evening, and brother, Reggie Cyde.
"Here they are," comments Tarsh. "Film star, MMA expert and all round hard case homer Cyde, with his bar-brawling brother, Reggie! I know these two from my old WHWF days, but what's your opinion  on these guys, Robinson?"
"Well, I gotta say, these guys, although I'm not the biggest fan, are  impressive. They've got that fierce allegiance and mentality only brothers  can have. I have to say, I think this puts them at a huge advantage."
"This is true" muses Maxine Mars, "but don't forget that Joxide and The  Dragon are no strangers to tag team action. And I bet Joxide is keen to get  back at the Cydes for the vicious powerbomb Homer gave him through that table  a few months ago when the match was booked!"
"Introducing first, from Waukesha, Winsconsin, standing at 6'5" tall and  weighing in at 271lbs, Homerrrrrrr Cyyyyyyde!!!"
Homer stares out at the booing fans, as does his brother, but continues  walking to the ring. Homer is wearing the same Cyde MMA shorts, gloves and boots we saw earlier, plus the vest top,  and a hoodie over the top, basically so that he can plaster more of his logos on his body. He flexes his arms as he  walks, showing off his chiseled physique to the crowd.
"And his partner, also from Waukesha, Winsconsin, standing at 6'6" and weighing in  at 240lbs, Reggiiiiiiie Cyyyyyde!!"
"Reggie Cyde is one mean customer" continues Maxine. "I've seen tapes of his  old matches. He's ruthless."
"And his punches could knock out a horse." adds Reynard.

“Tell me about it” confirms Tarsh, involuntarily touching his jaw.
 Reggie simply ignores the booing crowd and follows Homer. He is likewise wearing the same attire he was earlier. The  brothers reach the ring and slide in to await their opponents for the  evening.
The lights dim and Jurassic 5's "Concrete Schoolyard"'s old school hip-hop  beats fade in. The crowd rise to their feet in anticipation for the match's  fan favourites. Incidentally, two men who spent their entire careers playing  the bad guy. The crowd cheers wildly as Joxide walks onto the stage.
"And introducing their opponents, from the United Kingdom, standing at 6'2"  and weighing in at 245lbs, he is 'The Mouth of the South-West'…  Joooooooxiiiiide!!!"
"And here's the man that answered the challenge! England's own Joxide. A man  absent from the scene for the best part of 4 years!" yells Reynard.
"I think he challenged the wrong guys for his return match though! The Cydes  are gonna pummel him into the floor!"
The crowd cheer for the elusive Joxide as he walks down the ramp. Aside from  the extra frown lines and chest hair, Joxide looks almost the same as he used  to, back in the day. He sports black knee length jeans, some skating shoes, a  knee brace on his left knee and a standard black pad on the right. His  trademark turquoise Hawaiian shirt is back and it hangs loosely and  unbuttoned off his frame. He also sports a pink arm pad on his left arm and a  green one on his right.
Joxide reaches the ring and climbs in and stares down the Cydes as his music  fades out.
"I'm glad for Joxide that he's got a partner, imagine having to face the  Cydes 1-on-2!" Maxine Mars pipes up.

“Like you said” Robinson comments “We saw how well that would work out back at the press conference”
Next, "Dancing Mad" by the Black Mages begins to play through the PA system,  and Orland "The Dragon" Zacconi walks out onto the stage. The crowd roar in  approval but Orland, ever the serious one, simply walks to the ring staring at his opponents for the evening.
 "Here he is! Orland "The Dragon" Zacconi! The bitter, twisted Deadly Alliance  lackey from CWA returns to the UK to help out old run-in buddy, the mouth of the South-West!" says Reynard.
"Apparently, this guy's gone the way of most of the old CWA alumni: the  State-side independent circuit. I gotta say he looks better than ever!"  interjects Maxine.
Wearing his standard ring garb of green knee length tights, he swings himself  over the ropes. Wasting no time, the bell rings. We're on!
"Here we go!" shouts Tarsh, almost unable to contain himself.
After a brief discussion, Orland steps through the ropes and Joxide turns  around to face the Cyde's. Reggie looks over and steps through the ropes,  leaving Homer and Joxide. Joxide removes his shirt and dumps it on the floor, then stands there and cracks his knuckles, looking at Homer. Homer isn't scared and slowly  advances. Joxide follows suit and the two lock up.
"Collar and elbow tie-up here," calls Tarsh.
"Bad move by Joxide..." muses Maxine, referencing Homer’s superior size.
Homer dominates the lock up and pushes Joxide into a neutral corner. Joxide holds his hands out and the referee separates them. Homer backs off, then rushes Joxide, but, quick as a cat, Joxide drops down and catches Homer Cyde with a drop toe hold. Homer goes down but pops right back up to his feet, not looking too impressed, while Joxide stands back grinning at him, hands on  hips. He turns around to see a stoney faced Reggie. Joxide flips him off and turns his attention back toward Homer Cyde.
"Blatant shows of disrespect by Joxide, here." comments Reynard.
"The Cydes don't look too impressed!" chuckles Maxine.
Homer angrily charges the Mouth of the South-West once again. He connects with some  jabs and backs Joxide into the corner. Homer gives him a knee to the gut and attempts an Irish whip. Joxide reverses the whip, but Homer spins it around and changes direction back towards the turnbuckle. Joxide reverses this one as well sending Homer chest-first into the turnbuckle. As he bounces off  holding his chest, Joxide gives him a quick bitch slap to the back of his  head, then backs off into his corner.
"Oooooh!" laughs Tarsh. "He's gonna regret that!"
Homer turns around in rage and advances on Joxide, who tags in Orland "The  Dragon" Zacconi.
"Joxide doesn't seem to have lost his ability to piss people off though. Look at Homer's face! It looks like a slapped ass!" observes Maxine.
Orland steps through the ropes and sizes up Homer. The younger Cyde slowly  approaches The Dragon and they lock up. Both men push hard but Homer  eventually gets the better of Orland and gets him in a headlock. Orland  pushes him off into the ropes. Homer returns with a lariat but Orland is too quick, he ducks it and brings Homer down with a neck-breaker.
"Orland's gonna pay for that!" laughs Tarsh.
"Not right now he's not!" counters Maxine.
Homer gets to his feet again, rubbing his neck, and tags in Reggie Cyde.
"Tag made to the older Cyde." chirps Reynard.
The experienced bar fighter steps through the ropes, cracks his knuckles and grins. Orland shows no such emotion. The two circle each other and Reggie moves in for a closed fisted punch. The Dragon ducks the shot, goes behind  Reggie and as he turns around, hits a dropkick sending Reggie backward.  Within a few seconds both men are at their feet again. Reggie attempts  another closed fist but once again, Orland ducks. Reggie anticipates this and spins around quickly, chinning Orland, who stumbles backwards.
"Ouch! Did you see that?" yells Reynard.
"Yes, we're all watching the same match as you, Robinson." snorts Tarsh.
With the fire ignited in The Dragon, he charges at Reggie. The two begin exchanging stiff punches. Orland ducks behind Reggie and gives him a kidney  shot. Reggie yelps in surprise and leans back and catches Orland right in the  nose with a back elbow.
"Ouch! A real stiff elbow there. There's no give in Reggie Cyde, that's for sure!" declares Reynard.
"He's a tough man, Robinson. He's smart. He knows not to put anything less than 100% into every shot!" returns Tarsh.
"Wow, that looked like it hurt!" ejaculates Maxine, "his nose could be broken!"
Orland steps backwards, concerned with the shot he’s taken, and Reggie approaches him at pace. He grabs Orland's head and hits a bulldog to the mat. Once to his feet he puts the boot into The Dragon, stopping mid boot to stare at Joxide, currently throwing all insults under the sun at his opponent from the ring apron.
"That Joxide is gonna get a kicking one of these days!" muses Tarsh. "Make it now, Reggie!"
Reggie steps over Orland and starts giving Joxide a bit of mouth, allowing Orland to roll him up, 1... Kickout by Reggie. He rolls backwards and gets to  his feet where Orland is waiting with another dropkick. Reggie takes the  plunge but pops back up soon after. Orland pushes him into the ropes and sends him off. Reggie comes back and narrowly ducks a Free Flyer attempt from  Orland Zacconi by dropping to his back and rolling towards his side of the  ring. Orland jumps back up to his feet and grins at Reggie as a trickle of  blood rolls down his chin from his nose, courtesy of Reggie's stiff back  elbow.
"Blood already!" squeaks Maxine.
"That'll teach The Dragon!" laughs the heartless Jason Tarsh.
The Dragon moves in on Reggie, who manages to block a jab and delivers one of  his own, then hits a scoop slam, followed by an elbow drop. Reggie gets back  to his feet and jumps into the air for a knee drop to Orland's face but The Dragon moves just in time. Reggie hits his knee on the mat as Orland gets to his knees. He gives Reggie a punch in the gut, then gets to his feet. He hits a few more punches then viciously kicks Reggie in the knee, making the older Cyde stumble. Orland takes a step back, then runs towards Reggie and hits a  quick moonsault kick, sending Reggie to the mat!
"The Flash Kick!" shout Maxine.
"Can Orland capitalise?" Reynard wonders aloud.
Orland picks Reggie up, punches him then pushes him back into the corner. He gives Reggie a few stiff knees but the referee steps in to break them up. As  he does, Reggie steps out of the corner and BAM! Out of nowhere, Orland nails  him with a superkick! Reggie goes down and Orland hooks his leg, 1... 2...  Kickout by Reggie Cyde again!
"Wow that close!" shouts Reynard.
"Not close enough though, Robinson!" Tarsh fires back.
Orland gets to his feet and picks Reggie up. Reggie blindly swings for Orland  but misses. Orland retreats to the centre of the ring and Reggie throws  another stiff punch but Orland blocks it and hits a knee to the gut. Reggie doubles over and Orland whips off the ropes, leapfrogs over Reggie and lands  a jumping leg drop across the neck!!
"Third degree burn kick to Reggie cyde! Could this be all?" yells Reynard.
"Well, it was more like a Second Degree Burn Kick as it wasn't off the top rope..." argues Tarsh.
"Shut up Jason, The Dragon may have it!" Maxine pipes in.
Orland quickly rolls Reggie over and hooks the leg again, 1... 2... Homer  Cyde breaks up the pin just in the nick of time.
"Phew! That was close!" states a relieved Tarsh.
Joxide enters the ring and begins trading blows with Homer Cyde. Homer ducks a Joxide punch and hits a clothesline taking both men over the top rope to  the floor where they continue brawling.
Joxide manages to get the better of the younger Cyde and gives him a kick to  the gut, then sends him head-first into the announce table. Joxide quickly  lifts up the ring apron and grabs a STOP sign from under the ring. He raises  it to clobber Homer, who gives him a punch to the abdomen and grabs it off  him. He swings but Joxide ducks it, goes behind him and hits a jumping big boot to smash the STOP sign into Homer's face.
"Ouch! STOP sign to the face!" grimaces Reynard.
"Somebody STOP him!" giggles Maxine.
Homer goes down hard and Joxide drops an elbow on him before the referee  orders him back to his corner from inside the ring. Meanwhile, Orland is hammering Reggie Cyde with big blows in the corner, until Reggie suddenly springs out hitting an RKO style cutter!
"Cyde Scythe! Cyde Scythe! That's it!" yells Tarsh.
He quickly rolls Orland over and hooks the leg, 1... 2... Kickout by Orland!
"Wow that was close!" yells Reynard.
Reggie crawls over to his corner but his brother is nowhere to be found.  Instead, Homer is now on Joxide's side of the ring, battering Joxide with a  trash can. He attempts to dump it onto Joxide's head, but Joxide backs off  quickly and hits a European uppercut. Homer drops the trash can and, noticing his partner in need, rakes the eyes of Joxide and jogs back to his corner and  tags himself in.
"Yes! Get him Homer!" urges tarsh.
Orland is crawling back to Joxide's corner, where he now waits, arm  outstretched, but Homer grabs him by the leg. Orland gets to his one foot and  attempts an enziguri, but misses and lands on his front. Homer drops a big elbow on Orland's neck and pulls him by the legs back to his corner. He picks  up Orland and gives him a knee to the ribs and backs him into his corner.  Reggie holds The Dragon's arms back while Homer lays into him with punches.  He lands a few but Orland fights back, elbowing Reggie off the apron and grabbing Homer, then spinning him round into the corner. He ascends to the second rope and begins a 10-punch count. He gets to 3, but Homer stops him dead with a low blow followed by a running powerbomb from Orland's elevated  position.
"Aw, a dirty trick there by Homer Cyde!" moans Reynard.
"Worked though, didn't it, Robinson?" laughs Tarsh.
Homer shakes off the cobwebs and approaches Orland. He rolls him over for a  lateral press, 1.. 2. Joxide breaks up the pin before being quickly pushed  back to his side of the ring by the referee.
"A close call for Orland "The Dragon" Zacconi, there!" Maxine mentions.
Homer pulls Orland to his feet and pushes him back into his corner, gives him  a few knife-edge chops and tags in the refreshed Reggie Cyde.
"Reggie's looking fresher and ready to do some damage!" comments an enthusiastic Tarsh.
Reggie drags Orland out to the centre of the ring and kicks him in the gut.  He hooks Orland's arm underneath his legs and hoists him up in a pump-handle  position, looking for the Pork Fat Express, but The Dragon slips free, lands  behind Reggie and executes a powerful Dragon suplex!
"Oh man, what a suplex there by Orland!" winces Reynard.
"And he performs that move so well, too!" adds Maxine.
Both men get to their feet slowly. Orland attempts a comeback with a running clothesline but Reggie ducks it, whips into the ropes and CRACK! Joxide smashes him across the back with the kendo stick as Reggie bounces off the ropes. He stumbles forward in pain and Orland wastes no time in executing a  picture perfect spinning fisherman's neckbreaker!!
"The Scorch Mark!" screams Maxine Mars, "The finishing maneouvre of Deadly Alliance cohort "The Flaming Phoenix Chris Hallmark!"
"... wow, good job remembering that, Maxine." says a surprised Reynard.
With both men down, the race is on to get back to their respective partners.  Joxide is pounding the turnbuckle in frustration and Homer Cyde is reaching  out to his brother, the crowd firmly behind The mouth of the South-West. Both  men manage to tag in at the same time.
"Uh-oh! Business is about to pick up!" says Reynard in anticipation.
The crowd explodes as Joxide enters the ring. He takes down Homer with a  running clothesline, and as Reggie charges him, hits a back body drop! Homer is back to his feet again. He approaches Joxide from behind and waistlocks  him, looking for his German suplex combination finisher!
"The Red, White & Blue! Homer's looking for the Red, White & Blue!" screams Tarsh.

"Come on, Homer!"
"Joxide in a dangerous position here!" adds Maxine.
"He's fighting it!" Reynard chimes in.
Joxide grabs onto the top rope and Homer struggles to try and throw Joxide,  but Orland "The Dragon" Zacconi makes the save with a chop block, taking  Homer to the floor.
"Saved just in the nick of time there by Orland Zacconi!" says Reynard.
Joxide climbs through the ropes onto the apron and waits on Homer to get to  his feet, then jumps onto the top rope and hits a springboard hurricanrana on  Homer Cyde!!
"WOW! Cruiserweight high-flying by the 6 foot, 240lb Joxide!" shouts Reynard in suprise.
"That was magnificent, I must say." adds Tarsh, grudgingly.
Homer flies across the ring back in his corner and Joxide jumps to his feet.  He raises his arms and the crowd cheer wildly. Joxide whips off the ropes and hits a rolling thunder senton to the floored Homer cyde and springs back to his feet, jumps and hits a monkey flip to a now-vertical Reggie Cyde, who flips over and lands on his brother Homer!!
"Whoa! Scouted perfectly by Joxide!" declares Reynard.
Reggie rolls from the ring and Joxide follows. He clubs Reggie across the  back and lifts up the ring apron, then starts pulling out an assortment of chairs, a table, Moppy and some bin lids.
"Hey! someone take that bin-lid off him! Ref! Hey!" complains Tarsh.
Grabbing a bin lid, Joxide slides back into the ring. Homer Cyde is now at his feet. He swings for a punch but Joxide slams the bin lid into his fist!  Homer holds his hand in pain and Joxide grabs it. He applies a wristlock, wrenches again and kicks the arm. As Homer backs off, Joxide smashes the bin lid onto his arm again. Homer retreats but Joxide grabs his arm and wraps it round the ring rope and clotheslines him over the top to the floor.

"Wow!" remarks Maxine as Homer crashes to the floor.
Joxide prepares to leave the ring but is cut short by Reggie Cyde, who grabs his feet from outside the ring and pulls him out. He piles on some stiff right hands to Joxide and elbows him in the neck. Joxide goes down to his knees and Reggie gives him a hard punch to the back of the head which puts him flat on his stomach.
"Oh my god! A closed fist punch to the back of the head! Is he trying to kill Joxide?" exclaims Reynard.
"Haha! Get him, Reggie!" replies Tarsh.
Reggie and newly risen Homer Cyde punch the air and 'woo' as Joxide holds the  back of his head from the floor. Homer raises both arms just as Orland  Zacconi lands on the both of them with a flying body press over the ropes!
"WOW! Orland Zacconi takes to the skies and it pays off!!" yells Reynard.
"Orland Zacconi is fearless!" exclaims Maxine.
All men slowly get to their feet. Homer is the first one up. Orland is next,  and the two begin slugging it out. Homer dominates, rocks Orland with three  successive shots but Orland ducks a fourth, spins homer round and gives him a  snake-eyes onto the announce desk. Homer bounces off the table and falls over. Orland slowly makes his way back to his corner, and Joxide and Reggie  climb back into the ring.
Outside the ring, Homer Cyde is getting in the face of a member of the audience, sat in a ringside seat. He grabs the old man by the scruff of the neck but receives a poke in the eyes for it.
"People in the crowd can’t do that!!" yells Reynard again.
"Homer certainly got his just desserts there!" giggles Maxine.
"Hey, ref! That old guy isn't even IN this match! Get him out of here!" barks Tarsh.
Homer backs off and Joxide grabs him from behind and throws him into the  ring. As he climbs in himself but Homer catches him with an elbow to the  head.
Homer brings him to his feet and pushes him into his corner. He tags into Reggie and the two begin taking it in turns giving him hard kicks to the  ribs.
Reggie pulls Joxide to the centre of the ring and sends him off into the  ropes. As Joxide comes back he meets a strong lariat from Reggie Cyde. He slowly gets to his knees but Reggie wipes him out with a punt kick. Joxide hits the mat and attempts to roll out of the ring, but Reggie grabs his leg, pulls him back in and drags him to his feet. He bends Joxide over, pulls his arm under his leg and pump-handles Joxide onto his shoulder, looking for the  Pork Fat Express, drops him down and BAM! Joxide falls backwards!
"The Pork Fat Express by Reggie! Cover him Reggie! This one's DONE!" screams Tarsh.
Reggie covers him quickly, 1…
Orland Zacconi lands hard on Reggie Cyde with an elbow drop, breaking up the pin. Reggie stands up and stamps the floor in frustration. He picks up Joxide from the floor and gets him in the pump-handle position again!
"Once more Reggie, come on!" encourages Tarsh, again.
This time, Joxide flips onto Reggie's shoulder… Over Reggie's shoulder, behind him, spins Reggie around and drops him with the JKO!! The crowd go  wild as both men hit the mat hard.
"Nooooo!" wails Tarsh.
"Joxide with the JKO! Will this be it!?" yells Reynard.
Joxide manages to crawl slowly back to Orland who is slapping the turnbuckle with the free arm that is not outstretched, as Reggie uses the ropes to aid his ascension. Joxide makes the tag and Orland jumps over the ropes. He approaches Reggie and hits a  combination of strikes and kicks, then in one swift movement loads Reggie onto his shoulders and drops down with a Samoan drop.
Homer starts driving hard fists into Orland's mid section as he gets back to  his feet. Orland goes for one of this own but Homer expertly ducks it, applies a waistlock and hits a German suplex! Homer maintains his grip around Orland's waist and manages to hoist him overhead again with another suplex.  As the two men get to their feet, Homer attempts a third but Orland sticks  his leg up, catching Homer with a low blow.
"Orland "The Dragon" playing dirty now!" chuckles Reynard.
"Hey!" bellows Tarsh. "You can't do that to Homer Cyde!"
Orland quickly ducks as Joxide throws what appears to be dictionary into the  ring, clobbering Homer round the head.
"What the... ?" asks a bemused Reynard.
"That's the Dictionary Decapitator! Taking a leaf out of Jeeves' book there!" shrieks Maxine, "Take THAT, Homer Cyde!"
His grip on The Dragon is released and he falls backwards, out of the ring. By now, Reggie is almost at his feet  too. From outside, Homer slides a chair in the ring, which is picked up by Reggie.
Reggie approaches Orland from behind and raises the chair above his head,  then brings it down hard on Orland Zacconi's back. Orland goes down to one  knee and Reggie swings it into his back again, causing Orland to go down  hard. 
"Yow! There's no give on those cold, steel chairs!" laughs Jason Tarsh.

Reggie Cyde drops the chair and regains his breath while Orland slowly gets  to his feet. Reggie beckons him to get up and as he does, he grabs Orland's  head, looking for the Cyde Scythe onto the chair, but Orland pushes him away.  Reggie uses this momentum to spring into the ropes, but is met with a  superkick courtesy of Zacconi!
"Superkick by The Dragon! This ain't over yet!" shouts Reynard.
Reggie hits the deck and Orland stumbles into the corner, tagging in Joxide,  who immediately springs up to the top turnbuckle and leaps off with a frog  splash!!!
"London Underground!!!" yell Robinson Reynard and Maxine Mars together.
"Noooo!" Tarsh wails again.
Joxide, battered and bruised, loosely hooks Reggie's leg for the pin, 1…
Homer breaks up the pin attempt!
"Phew!" mutters Tarsh.
He swiftly picks Joxide up from his pinfall and drills him into the mat with a picture-perfect Waukesha Winder! The ref  forces him from the ring and Homer jumps back to his corner, eager to tag in.
Eventually, Reggie makes it with a tag, just as Joxide is getting to his  feet.
Homer charges at the Mouth of the South-West, who dives to the side in  desperation. Homer bounces off the ropes and hits a big elbow drop on Joxide.
The crowd boo as Homer Cyde pulls Joxide to his feet. He grabs in a headlock  and attempts to hit Joxide with a JKO, but Joxide throws him off at the last  second.
"Aw, I thought homer had him!" moans Tarsh, again.
"He wasn't quick enough there!" says Reynard.
Homer lands on his ass but springs back up. This time, it's Joxide  that goes for a JKO!
"JKO?" yells Maxine.
Homer throws him away, but Joxide manages to land on his feet. Homer goes for a lariat but Joxide ducks it, spins Homer round and goes for another JKO, but Homer has it scouted and throws Joxide off again. He lands hard but is not deterred. Homer meets him at his feet and the two begin slugging it out.  Homer manages to dominate the exchange and goes for a hard clothesline for the knockdown but Joxide ducks it once more and again goes for a JKO, but  Homer, once again, throws him off.
"Haha! Third time unlucky! Give it up, Joxide. Homer's got your number!" cackles Tarsh.

Joxide lands on his ass and slaps the mat in frustration. Homer gives him a  few punches to the head and drags the flagging Joxide to his feet. He bounces off the ropes, just as Orland throws Moppy to Joxide. Joxide swings Moppy as Homer returns but Homer ducks it and springs off the opposite ropes. Joxide swings again and again Homer ducks it and hits a neckbreaker!
"Yes!" shouts Tarsh, again. "Come on, Homer, get up and cover him!"
He drapes the arm over Joxide, 1… 2… Kickout by the Mouth!
Homer gets to his feet wearily and signals to the crowd for the Red, White  and Blue. As Joxide gets to his feet, Homer Cyde grabs him in a waistlock but Joxide responds with a back low-blow, spins around and hoists Cyde onto his  shoulder, then drives him to the mat with a modified Michinoku Driver! The  crowd goes wild!

"The Joxide Jriver! An old classic move pulled out of nowhere by the Mouth of the South-West!!" shouts Maxine. "This move has earned Joxide his fair share of victories in the past!"

"Will this be enough!?" adds Robinson Reynard.

Joxide rolls his arm onto Homer and the ref counts the pinfall, 1… 2… KICKOUT  BY HOMER!!

"Yes, Homer! Come on, you can do it!" shouts Tarsh.
A collective sigh goes up from the crowd as Joxide rolls off of Homer. He gets slowly to his feet and walks over to the turnbuckle. Joxide steps through the ropes and slowly ascends the turnbuckle, but he's not quick enough and Homer Cyde, now at his feet, shakes the top rope, causing Joxide  to lose his footing and land nuts-first onto the turnbuckle.

"Haha! Too little, too late, Joxide!" laughs Tarsh.

"I thought we were going to see another London Underground right there!" Reynard pipes up.

Homer hits a few closed fists to the jaw of Joxide and then steps onto the  second rope. Pulling Joxide to his feet, perched on the top rope, Homer picks  him up in preparation for a top-rope Awesome bomb!

"He's setting him up for the US of Ouch!" yells Tarsh again. "If he hits this, the Cydes are going home victorious!"

"Look!" interjects Maxine.
Homer begins to fall forward but Joxide manages to wriggle free and pushes Homer off the top rope to the mat. Homer lands awkwardly but rolls through back onto his feet, right into a missile dropkick!

"Shades of Mark Rynx there with a huge missile dropkick!" Maxine declares.

"But, will it be enough!?" shouts Reynard.
Joxide covers Homer again, 1... 2... Reggie Cyde breaks up the pin with a kick to the head. He pulls Joxide to his feet, punches him a few times and  sends him into the ropes. Joxide rebounds back, looking to hit both the Cydes with a double-clothesline, but they both duck. Joxide bounces back, Homer ducks a lariat, goes behind him and BAM! Homer hits a German suplex!

"Here we go! It's all over now!" shouts a hysterical Jason Tarsh.

"The Red!" shouts Reynard.
Homer Cyde pulls Joxide back to his feet, maintaining the waistlock, and hits  another German suplex.

"The White!"

Homer drags Joxide to his feet once more and with a yell of fury, suplexes  Joxide a third time, bridging over for the pin!

"The Blue!"

"Yes! It's all over now, Robinson!"




"THR… WHAT!?" gasps Tarsh, unable to believe it. "Joxide just kicked out of Homer Cyde's Red White & Blue! I don't believe it!"

"Joxide's not done yet!" shouts an excited Maxine Mars. "Come on, Joxide!"

Joxide rolls over to a neutral corner and sits against it, clutching the back of his head. Homer screams in frustration and pounds the mat, then getting to his feet, charges at the seated Joxide, looking for the Suicide Squeeze, but Joxide sticks his leg up at the last minute, low blowing Homer!

"HEY! He can't do that! That's cheating!" protests Tarsh.

"Maybe that's the reason Joxide requested the no-holds-barred stipulation, Jason?" laughs Reynard.

Homer falls backwards onto his back and it's Joxide turn to get to his feet.  He reaches under the bottom rope and grabs a chair from the ringside area and  brings it into the ring. He places the chair on the mat and waits behind Homer Cyde, now slowly getting to his feet.

"Don't turn around, Homer! Don't do it!" shouts Tarsh again.

Homer turns round and Joxide scoops him up onto his shoulder, looking for a Joxide Jriver onto the chair!

"No! It's all over now!" says a crestfallen Jason Tarsh.
Homer Cyde kicks and wriggles and Joxide falls backwards. Homer lands on his feet and uses Joxide's falling momentum against him to hoist HIM up onto his shoulder!

"Homer Cyde! Brilliant recovery by Homer Cyde!" shouts Reynard.

"I KNEW he'd pull something out of the bag!" laughs Jason Tarsh. "Come on Homer, get the bastard!"
Homer signals for the Joxide Jriver but can't quite do it in time, as Orland Zacconi is holding Joxide's foot from behind, near to the ropes. The Dragon jumps backwards off the ring apron giving Joxide enough push to reverse Homer's Jriver attempt. He lifts the younger Cyde back onto his shoulders, in  the same fashion Homer just did to him!


"What a reversal!" screams Maxine Mars. "I don't believe it! He's got him now!!"

Joxide moves to the chair and drops Homer with a Joxide Jriver! Luckily for Homer, Reggie Cyde has scouted it and pulled the chair from the ring at the  last moment! Homer and Joxide land hard, both exhausted and the ref begins  the count.

"JRIVER ONTO THE… WAIT!" shouts Reynard.


"That's it! Cover him Jox!" adds Maxine. But both men are down, and the referee is counting.


"Come on, guys! Don't let it end like this!"

Both men are stirring.
6... Joxide is at his knees, but Homer is still down.

"He's up, Tarsh!" says Maxine Mars.

"Damn!" shouts Tarsh.

8... Joxide gets back to his vertical base. He raises his arm to the crowd  and with renewed energy, whips himself off the ropes and goes for a rolling  thunder, but Homer sticks his fist up as Joxide lands, striking him in the back of the head!

"Ha! Clever counter by Homer Cyde!" comments Tarsh.

"Clever? More like cheap shot!" counters Reynard.

Homer rolls out from underneath Joxide, gets slowly to his feet and signals to the crowd for the end.

"Finish him off, Homer!" laughs Tarsh triumphantly.

Homer picks Joxide up roughly by the hair and pushes him into the corner. He lifts Joxide up and sits him on the top turnbuckle and climbs up. He jabs Joxide in the stomach twice and prepares for a superplex, but Joxide won't be  denied. He punches Homer Cyde in the ribs once, then twice and a third time.

"I don't like the look of this…" states Tarsh.

"Joxide mounting a comeback, possibly!?" Reynard begins.

Joxide unhooks himself from the superplex and signals to the chanting crowd.  He summons up his last ounce of strength, hoisting Homer Cyde onto his shoulders in this precarious position above the ring, then, looking into the lights in the rafters, he mumbles quietly through gritted teeth.
"Adiós, pendejo."
Joxide steps forward on one shaky leg off the turnbuckle and brings Homer crashing to the mat with a top rope Joxide Jriver! The crowd roar in approval, and Joxide slowly crawls towards the fallen Homer Cyde.
As he reaches Homer and drapes an arm over him, Reggie Cyde slides into the ring from the outside. As he approaches Joxide and Homer, The Dragon appears from his side! He slides between Reggie's legs and wrenches his right leg.  Reggie goes down and Orland springs up on top of him, applying the roll-through single leg crab!!
Reggie can do nothing but watch in pain as the referee counts Joxide's pin on his brother Homer!
The bell rings and the crowd explode with cheers for the team of The Dragon  and the Mouth. Zacconi releases the hold and Reggie rolls out of the ring, as does Homer. "Concrete Schoolyard" fills up the O2 arena PA system. Joxide and  Orland "The Dragon" Zacconi stand tall, covered in sweat and bleeding. The referee raises both of their arms and the crowd stands as one in applause.


"I don't believe it! How could this happen!?" shouts a flabbergasted Tarsh.

"This has been one for the ages!!" adds Maxine.

The unlikely pair of Joxide and Orland head back up the ramp together, raising their arms in celebration when they get to the stage.

"What a return to grace for the Mouth of the South-West and The Dragon!" Reynard comments as they disappear backstage

I'm not climbing to the top of the mountain. I am the damn mountain!
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