CXA.com's latest addition

The wrestling fans had become curious in the last or two about this supposed Reunion match between Joxide and the Cyde brothers, Homer and Reggie. We'd heard much about other matches but aside from the initial challenge it appeared this one was going to be an un-hyped opening bout.

Which was why people were surprised when a new video and photo gallery appeared on the official CXA reunion website.

The photo galleries had shown Joxide at a small desk inside a large studio. He was wearing a grey Nasa T shirt and some black jeans and was joined by two other famous faces. Other photos depicted fans, woo'ing and shouting into the camera. Most came in gym shorts and wifebeaters, some came in wrestling singlets, a few wore arm pads and knee pads and one fucking idiot had come as Hulk Hogan. They were queueing, supposedly outside the studio where Joxide was.

More pictures showed the studio. There was a stage about 10 feet away from the desk with a light shining onto the centre, where a large thick crash-mat lay, plastered with the CXA logo. Next to Joxide at the desk sat Jason Tarsh to his left, and to his right Robinson Renard, the famed announce team of old times.

Various pictures showed Joxide and the team laughing, cringing, exasperated and all the other obvious emotions one can catch on camera.

The video taken from Youtube explained the situation a little better:

The CXA logo pops up on screen followed by some tapes from the Cyde/Joxide press conference, recapping the story so far. At the end the camera fades to a still of Joxide writhing among table wreckage at the hands of homer Cyde, followed by Joxide's voice:

"What do you say, uncle Sam?"

Homer Cyde's voice:

"… Two things: Number one, uncle Sam accepts. Number two, he better pray he can find a friend."

The screen fades to black before the CXA logo pops up once more. Then Jason Tarsh's voice rings out.

"Hello everybody and welcome to the exciting world of CXA! As part of our warm-up to the fabled Reunion show, CXA is proud to introduce, back on the headsets again, Robinson Renard!"

"Hello fans,"

The camera is now on the announce table.

"And myself Jason Tarsh! And for the first time in 3 years, here live in the studio, the former multi-time world champion, he is the Mouth of the South-West…"

"Okay Tarsh, I think we get it."

But Tarsh remains undeterred.

"One of TXA's founding fathers, the elusive, delusive…"

"And really quite obtrusive…"

"Thanks, Renard…"

"He is... Joxide!"

You can hear the slow mocking clap of Robinson Renard.

"Thanks, JT. Would you like to tell everyone watching why we are here?"

"Welcome one and all, to the televised search for a partner for Joxide's match against the Cydes! Welcome to… The Jox Factor!"

"Oh christ…"

"So Jox, we understand that you're having trouble acquiring a partner for your upcoming match with the Cydes."

"No, i'm not 'having trouble'. I haven't even started looking yet!"

"Well, it's about time you started don't you think?"

There is a long pause, although in the absence of his voice, Joxide clearly gives up.

"Yeah, Tarsh. I guess it's about time, huh?"

The bit of forced enthusiasm fools no one.

"The Jox Factor! I can't believe it. What a name…"

"Renard, will you give it a rest please?"

After setting the theme of the program; an audition style parody of Britain's favourite TV program inviting the Great British Public to get involved with CXA in order to find a suitable partner for Joxide in his match against the Cyde brothers, the video continues for about 10 minutes, just like the clips of the X Factor auditions. Traditionally, they showcased the terrible ones, the funny ones and the ones that, although stood no chance, stood a better chance than the rest.

They had morons, couch potatoes, kids, a guy with one hand, an old woman and a confused looking Eastern European chap who seemed to have got lost on the way back to his hand-car wash and appeared not to speak any English. All of these entries the panel had a laugh at, followed by a few relatively fit young men who could execute a good arm drag and a hip toss. There was even a duo that came in who seemed to have legitimate wrestling training, who came in and had a good, short match culminating in a pretty well executed diamond cutter.

The final scene of the video showed the three narrators. Robinson Renard was leaning backwards on his chair, his head titled back. Joxide was leant forwards, his head buried in his arms, only Tarsh remained looking at the camera, trying to look excited and awake despite the glazed, tired look in his eyes.

"That's all we have time for today, folks! Join us again as the search for a partner continues! On, THE JOX FACTOR!"

"Ugh…"

Joxide's grumble is almost inaudible but audible nonetheless. As the scene fades to black, the CXA logo pops up and the video stops.


This is a two parter, hopefully I'll have part 2 finished by the end of the night.

ooc: superb.

OOC: Cheers! Here's part 2. I'm away until Sunday evening now so you won't hear anything from me until then. Stay tuned though

Joxide sat in an expensive, fake-looking bar, staring straight in front of him, which happened to be at one of the beer taps. He sipped his warming pint of Stella slowly and tried to shut out the loud noises all around him. He was tired, he had a headache and he wanted to go home. People shuffled all around him, all of them in a rush for their beer or their chips. Some were hurrying past. Some were already drunk.

After finishing recording a ridiculous CXA-sponsored video at the studios, Joxide had retired here at just after 5. It was approaching 7pm now and he could feel himself getting tired. All this activity, he thought. I'm not used to this. Back in Chile, a busy day for him would be to walk all the way to the jetty at the bottom of the valley on the lagoon, built on the edge of his estate, cast his fishing rod, roll up a joint, smoke it all then fall asleep in the sun, sat in his deckchair with a can of beer listening to Pink Floyd. For him that was a hard day's graft.

"It's a PR exercise" the producer had told him.

"I'm not interested in PR. I came here to wrestle, not come here and pretend to be a rip off of Pop Idol." the Mouth of the South-West had argued, but to no avail. If he was doing the show, he had to do all the promotional stuff too. This god forsaken program had even extended to Chile, in the form of Latin American Idol. He watched it occasionally. The singing was horrible but he to admit, the nice bits of ass on that program was spot on.

The irony of the situation was that despite spending the lat 9 hours recording a 15 minute video, he still didn't have a partner. In fact, he only knew of one person who could possibly help him, and he'd only just found out the location of this man. They hadn't spoken in years. In fact, Joxide didn't even know if this man was still wrestling.

Ironic, too, that Joxide had flown all the way to his native side of the Atlantic only to have to travel back on a personal errand. Oh well. A small break wouldn't be so bad. He'd contacted the airport two days ago and had arranged a flight the moment he found out where his old friend was. Unfortunately they don't fly direct from Bristol airport so Joxide had to connect at JFK. He wasn't looking forward to this journey at all. But, he was surprised to find, excited to see his old friend. He just hoped, as he looked down at his thick toned arms, that the guy had been working out. If this didn't work, he was fucked. It would have to be him versus the Cydes on his own. He didn't like his chances of that, that's for sure.

He looked up at the departures board and found his flight. They were starting to board, so Joxide threw the rest of his pint back and patted his pockets down to make sure he had everything. Phone, check. Keys, check. Wallet, check. Ticket, check. Passport, check. Hotel key, check. Joxide slung his coat over his shoulder and departed from the just-business airport bar a little wobblier than when he came in and headed towards his gate. Lovely job, he thought. Gotta love first class. Comfy seats, nice food, quick service, and leg room. It's a six hour flight to New York, and he was gonna sleep the whole of it.

ooc: very nice. I'll try and post something as the Cyde's this weekend.

OOC: No worries mate. I'm away til Sunday so won't be around till then at least.